9 Layers of Me

 

Ok. It’s been a while since I’ve updated my blog. I wish I could give the reason as-work pressure (kinda true though!), but most of the time it’s just sheer raw laziness! So this dedicated reader of mine pings me (I wish I could say ‘disturbs me’ but just can’t help it when you love the disturbances ) everyday- ‘BIPIN RAJAN, UPDATE YOUR BLOG!!!’

So here I am, with this post (rather a stolen idea ) giving you all an insight of me

 

Layer One: 

Name: Bipin R R aka Hey Handsome (I know I’ve spoiled the post )
Birth date: Oct 26^th, 1989

Birthplace: Chennai

Current Location: Chennai

Eye Color: Black… or is it brown? I don’t know..
Hair Color: Black.
Height: 6’1” (Now that’s a perfectly normal height!)
Righty or Lefty: Righty
Zodiac Sign: Scorpio.

Layer Two:

Heritage: A Malayali boy. Born, brought up and settled in Chennai. Ask me the route to some place in Chennai, I blink
Shoes Worn Today: Formal black shoes which I forgot to polish and hence appears dusty brownish black.
Weaknesses: I believe people easily..
Fears: My Sister You know you’ll automatically fear someone when you respect them a lot (Ice vechifying ) Just kidding.. DOGS!!!! I’m scared of dogs
The Perfect Pizza: Any pizza! As long as it’s tasty.
Desired Goal: Keep my parents happy. That’s it (touching huh? I know! )

Layer Three:

Most Overused Phrases: ‘OK’, ‘what else’, ‘I know!’ (Refer last line of previous layer for proof ), ‘then,apram,pinnae,cheppu’ (to girlfriends when I run outta topic).
First Waking Thoughts: ‘Am hungry’, ‘Should I work-out today?’, ‘Shit, I should take bath!’
Best Physical Feature: Once upon a my biceps my height and an ok-ok smile
Most Missed Memory: St.Johns (my school) memories! Every single bit of it. The place which gave me some wonderful people.
Layer Four:

Pepsi or Coke: Coke
McDonald’s or Burger King: McDonald’s.. any time!

Single or Group Dates: Dates? You mean the fruit?
Adidas or Nike: Neither! Way too expensive!
Chocolate or Vanilla: Chocolate.

Cappuccino or Coffee:  Nair kadai Coffee

Layer Five:

Cuss: Never! My best friends know that I don’t swear I’m a good boy
Sing: I really don’t know if I sing well! I love to sing though
Shower Everyday: Yeah yeah… I shower every day.
Ever Been in Love: a definite YES! It’s like this-

In Ranbir Kapoor’s case: he lost his love and ended up becoming a Rockstar!

In Bipin’s case: she broke my heart and I started writing (Guitar: 3000 bucks, Guitar classes: 1500 bucks! Naaaaaah ) and hence, this blog.
Want to Go to College: Of course!! The last 2 years of my college life. That’ll be fun.
Liked High School: 12 guys and 40 girls. Won’t I love it?
Want to Get Married: Hmmm.. Not any time now.

Believe in Self: A LOT!
Think Yourself Attractive: Normal average looking, I guess
Get Along with Parent(s): No problems at all. We get along quite well. A few fights every now and then as a teen.
Like Thunderstorms: Cool! India should get destroyed in 2012 in a thunderstorm
Play an Instrument: Started learning guitar!

 

Layer Six:
In the Past Month…

Drank Alcohol: Only milk
Done a Drug: Nope.
Made Out: Nope.
Gone on a Date: Nope.
Visited the Mall: In the past month? Naaahh..
Been on Stage: Not recently but yeah, been on stage a number of times! (read the post: The Actor- http://bipinrajan.wordpress.com/2011/07/24/the-actor/)
Been Dumped: ME?! :O Oh no..!

Stolen Anything: ‘Hearts’ considered??

Layer Seven:

Ever…

Played a Game that Required the Removal of Clothing: Naaaaaay.. (I’m gonna kill you for mailing me this list!)
If So, Was it Mixed Company: Pass, next question please
Been Trashed or Extremely Intoxicated: Never. Should try it someday.
Been Caught “Doing Something”: Physics assignment during Chemistry period That’s the only “Doing Something” I know about
Gotten Beaten Up: Not yet.
Shoplifted: No.
Changed Who You Were to Fit In: Why should I change myself for some one??! I love the way I am.

Layer Eight:

Age You Hope to be Married: May be around 28
Numbers and Names of Children: One cute little girl. Varsha or Neha
How Do You Want to Die: Earthquakes, flight crash, heart attack or fighting for the country (I’m very patriotic)
What Do You Want to Be When You Grow Up: I dreamt of being an astronaut. Saw my 10^th marks and told myself ‘bipin with these marks you won’t reach even the nearby planetarium, forget the moon dude’.

Next I wanted to be a Doctor. 12^th results were out and my doctor dreams crashed. Now I’ve plans to join politics Should bring a change to this country…
What Country Would You Most Like to Visit: America! My country, my people

Layer Nine:

Number of Drugs Taken Illegally: None
Number of People I Could Trust with My Life: 5
Number of CDs I Own: Are people even getting CDs these days?! It’s all there in my computer.
Number of Piercings: None.
Number of Tattoos: None. But I’d love to have one!
Number of Times My Name Has Appeared in the Newspaper: A couple of times.
Number of Scars on My Body: Lotssss. A few accidents, stitches, scratches etc etc (long story)

Number of Things in My Past that I Regret: There are a few things like changing my school, hurting my best friend (made her cry. Sorry)

Bangalore vs Chennai

(Kindly bear with the improper alignment. Tried putting the contents in a box but WordPress

had other ideas. Sorry i don’t have $100 to upgrade the site )

BENGALURU	CHENNAI
First things first:  What’s with the Government anyways? Changing a super cool name to a dumb one? Bangalore –> Bengaluru (Ewwww!)   Working meters: Now this is the second best point in my list. Trust me Chennaites, they have  working meters in the auto rickshaws!	An ok types name to a cool name to start with.Madras –> Chennai (Thank God they didn’tfollow  Bangalore’s policy and call it ‘Madrasapatnam’!)    Do I even need to mention about our famous   autowallas? What do these guys think?   That they’re piloting some aircraft on roads?!   And the fares, OMG! Often you’ll have to reply   ‘No No, am not here to buy your auto rickshaw   n all! Plss tell me only the travel cost’ once you   get to know the fare.
Weather: Conversation between mom (in Chennai) and sister (of course in Bangalore) over the phone…Jan-March:Mom- Summer started very early. It’s pretty hot already in Chennai. Wonder how April, May is going to be! April-June: Mom- Aiyooo it’s scorching hot down here! July-Sept: Mom- The worst part is over but the heat hasn’t subsided yet… Oct-Dec: Mom- Hmmm it’s kind of ok now although the days are a little hot you know. Jan-Dec: Sister-Amma, awesome climate here. Pleasant most of the time, cold otherwise! (So that kind of sums up the weather part…Yo Bangalore, you win it fair and square!)

Language: To survive in Bangalore it’s enough if you know one of the combinations given below- –> English + a little bit of Hindi –> Hindi +  a little bit of Tamil –> A little bit all three	Eat Tamil, sleep Tamil and drink Tamil…!!! It’s Tamil, Tamil and only Tamil (arghhh!). Not to forget worship Tamil..
‘Bird’ watching:Birds (Chicks aka Woman) are found in abundance in this area. Name the variety and you’ll find them in Bangalore. It’s like giving your eyes a break, from watching Crows (in Chennai) to the beautiful  Scarlet Tanager, Prothonotary Warbler, Harlequin Duck etc (that Bangalore has to offer). So the choice is yours ;)	I was in Bangalore recently and I came up withthis equation en route to my sister’splace which was a 30 minute drive from the railway station-   ‘The number of hot chicks seen in 30 minutes is   more than or equal to the number of chicks   (no use including ‘hot’) seen in Chennai for an   entire year!’

So who do you reckon is the winner here? Bangalore? Seriously? Is that even possible when you have

someone called Rajinikanth with you?? And hey, Tamilians are generally good people with a great

heart and helping tendency! (this part is to save my ass )

LOVE-all it gives is a lousy hangover…!

‘Helloo, Ishaan? Gimme your dad’s phone number’ I heard her weep through the phone for the very first time. The last time I saw her cry was a decade back, at school when we were kids.

‘Whh What happened? Why are you crying Varsha?’ Varsha Nair- the most animated, beautiful, blithesome natured girl (tomboyish at times) who entered my life as my best friend and later turned out to be the love of my life.

‘Dad came to know everything about us…our relationship! ’ she said, struggling for words and crying harder. ‘Please give me your dad’s number.’ She was drained, completely! I could sense it from her voice and the yelling her dad was giving through the phone.

‘Varsha, how exactly did…’ I said.

But she had already cut the call, or probably her dad would’ve. I checked the time, it was 10.30pm. That was the last time I spoke to her. I never thought things will end this way. We were perfect as a pair and connected really well (especially after my Bangalore trip). Thanks to her dad, everything is fucked up now! Is that it? Is it all over?? Will we ever be together again?  I had way too many questions on my mind. But somehow I seemed to know the answers to all of them- NEVER!!

I settled on bed perfectly aware that I’ll be facing sleepless nights for months– my eyes transfixed on the wooden ruler on the corner of my messy study table and mind filled with pictures of Varsha, I smiled.

The Grasshopper Experiment:

‘Quick!!’ I said handing over the envelope to AJ ‘put it inside and please make it fast’. I checked the time. Ten more minutes for the classes to start. She’ll be here any second.

A week back we had this competitive science talent exam, the result of which is due today. The winner will be awarded a cash prize of 2000 bucks and a title ‘Junior Einstein’ (‘Junior’, coz we were in standard 5). What am I working hard towards? Simple, to SCARE VARSHA (who claims herself to be a tough girl). This is where the envelope and its content, a grasshopper prankey, come into play.

‘Dude, she’s coming’ said the watch-out guy. I gave him back a thumbs-up signal and readied myself to enact the plan.

‘Hey Varsha! Congratssss!!!’ I screamed with full enthusiasm trying to hide my excitement. God, please make it work… please…

She looked perplexed ‘wats the matter Ishaan?’

‘You better treat me with the 2000 bucks you’ve won, miss genius. You’ve bagged the first prize in the junior category. Congo!’ now that was pretty neat, I thought.

‘Whoaa!! Seriously?’ her eyes widened mainly because of the effect the kajal and mascara was providing. Bingo! It’s working…

‘Haan baba, Praseetha ma’am was searching for you. She handed over the envelope to me (it’s the “Class teacher searches-couldn’t find-hands it over to the Class Pupil Leader” theory. Makes sense? ) when she couldn’t find you.’ The eager eyes of the class were waiting to see her reaction. The class erupted as she shrieked out in fear, eyes filled with tears (although that wasn’t my aim), the envelope and the fake grasshopper flying in exact opposite directions.  The look-out guy was soo involved in the outcome of the prank that he actually forgot to do his duty and as a result the headmaster ended up being a spectator! Varshas tears were more than enough for him to show me that it hurts when someone hits you with a wooden ruler. That was the first time I got punished at school.

‘I’m sorry Ishaan. I didn’t mean to create a scene before the headmaster and get you into trouble. It just scared me’ she said holdin my pink-pink hand and giving me a beautiful smile. I really wanted to celebrate this moment. Do push ups? Naah… not a way to celebrate Ishaan! And then had an urge to sing out loud. But all I could remember was the National anthem!

The pain vanished the moment she touched my hand. Ok Ishaan please don’t start flying now! Why would anyone need medicines in this world when they have such beautiful smiles that could heal anything??

‘Varsha’ I said her name aloud. Sometimes you just feel a lot better just by saying your loved ones name. It was 12.30 am and her memories kept haunting me. Checked my cell if she’d sent me any text message–scared if I’d find a goodbye message. Because it was hard when she said it the last time and it took me 5 years to find her again!

The Hide n Seek Hypothesis:

‘Dude, what’s Mitochondria called??’ I asked Aakash showing him the question paper and discussing the answers- something which we did after every exam. This was standard 7 annual examination.

‘Donno manh. I thought they were asking for a nick name or something and wrote “Mito”. LOL’

‘It’s called the Power house of the cell you idiots’ came a reply from some nerd who was listening to our conversation.

‘They keep changing it every now and then huh? That’s why I left it a blank. I’m sure Divya ma’am will fill it for me when she corrects my paper’ we high fived at that. ‘Thank god the exams are over. Summer vacation for 2 months! What plans Aakash?’

‘Video games! What else? Come over to my place alrite? Ok then I’ll wait for you in the parking lot. Make it fast’ he  said as soon as he saw Varsha approaching me.

‘Hey ya topper. Why so sad-sad madam?’ I asked Varsha and wishing a few “Happy holidays” as we walked through the corridor.

‘Ishaan I’m changing my school next year. Dad got transferred to Bangalore. I’m leaving next week Ishh. Will miss you! BYE…’ I saw her wipe her tears as she started walking away. Fortunately things didn’t end there.

5 years later…

‘Hello Aakash?’

‘Heyy Ishaan! Long time. How are you? All fine at home? Oye, how did you do your board exams?’

‘All fine here dude. Waiting for good results.’

‘Dats great! Hey you on facebook??’

‘Errr wats dat?’

‘Social networking site bro. It’s kinda cool! Create an account and make sure you send me a request!’

‘Sure… got to go manh. I’ll call you up some other time. Bye.’

‘Bubye. ’

I took the next few minutes to create a facebook account, put my best pic as the profile picture and started searching for Aakash. Got a text from him saying that his profile name was “The Dragon Warrior”. It was pretty easy to find him considering the fact that there were no other dragon warriors on facebook. All of a sudden a thought stuck me and I began to type- “Varsha Nair”. Crap! Soo many Varshas?! Dad got transferred to Bangalore. I’m leaving next week. Hmmm Bangalore… Performed a location based search and was left with four profiles. Sent a friend request to all four with a message “I’ve waited for 5 years! Can’t wait anymore ”

The next day as I logged into my account I found three new messages in my inbox from three Varshas. One said “Hi”, the second one “Do I know you?” and the last “Ishhhhhhhhhhhhh…!!!!! ” How I loved her ‘Ishhh’!

3 am and still no sleep. I tried closing my mind against her thoughts, but in vain. Things started off well after we became ‘friends’ on facebook. And yeah, friendship moved to the next level. Trust me people, it takes a lot to maintain a long distance relationship! My surprises for her continued…

 The birthday operation:

No support from BSNL (my internet connection has gone nuts!), Skype (problems with video call, partly BSNL’s fault though) and Vodafone (or maybe not, coz I didn’t have money to recharge my phone ). Southern Railways, please don’t make my life miserable. All I’m asking you is a ticket to Bangalore.

‘Heyyy you. The counter is empty’ the guy standing behind me woke me up from my soliloquy.

I walked up to the ticket counter and gave the reservation form to the person sitting there ‘tickets available huh?’

‘Yes’ came an immediate reply from the guy and he handed me the tickets. I really wanted to dance and do a moonwalk (which I didn’t know one bit) to show how happy I was. But sometimes it’s better to stay quiet and absorb the happiness. Here I come Varsha Nair!

chennai to bangalore!

The plan was very simple- surprise her on her b’day. Called up Shreya (Varshas friend in bangalore) and told her the plan. All she had to do was bring Varsha blindfolded from her home to a restaurant. I hadn’t called Varsha all day. It’s her b’day tomorrow. I didn’t even give her a midnight call as I was in train. Reached Bangalore pretty early the following morning and stayed at a friend’s place. I was all excited as we haven’t met in 9 years!!

I waved at Shreya, signaling her to bring the birthday girl to the corner table where I was seated. The cake was ready on the table. Now that they came nearby, I finally got a glimpse of Varsha after all these years! I slowly removed the blindfold a covered her eyes with my hands.

‘Hey who’s this?’ I sensed excitement in her voice as she asked that.

‘Guess…’ replied Shreya as I kept mum.

‘Plzzzzz tell me yaar. Please…’

I was no more covering her eyes. She was all smiles as she saw a cake in front of her and her friends screaming “Happieee birthday Varsha!!”. She turned slowly to see who was covering her eyes. The smile disappeared as soon as she saw me. The shock was evident in her eyes! Her scream turned the attention of the customers in the restaurant towards us. Varsha was no longer standing as she fell on a nearby chair (for a second I thought she had a heart attack!). But knowing the drama queen better than anyone else, I wished her a happy birthday and gave a beautiful ring.

‘At least change your reactions Varsha. I’m not a grasshopper!’ I whispered into her ears. She smiled, perfectly understanding what I meant. Her eyes filled with tears (this time around it was tears of joy) as she ran towards me and gave me a hug.

I wish I had the powers to freeze everything around us back then.

‘Yes, I do!’- Part 2

(Text message between Saif and Neha)

Hey Saif!

Heyloo Neha!!

Awww look at tht shmile! Hw cute was tht!

It’s not cute n al re.. Average I guess, nothing more than tht

Ok ok yu’ll neva agree. I knw tht. So, endha cheiyuna?

I’m sorry wat?!

Wat yu doin? That’s wat I meant.. Better learn Malayalam Saif

I reckon I shud. Yu are there to teach me na

Exactly! I’m thr for everything

Ha ha.. Hey how about a movie this weekend??

Sounds great!! Movie and booze, shall we??

Cool! Even better!

Awesome! Here’s the plan- Saturday 11am show. I’ll pick you up from the usual spot at around 9. I’ll book the tickets today.’

And I’ll go get Vodka A quarter for yu n a quarter for me 

No problem. But make sure yu ride my bike after we booze coz I’ll get high

Wat?! Yu get high for a quarter only?? Aiyoo shame shame puppy shame

Nw stop makin fun of me Saif!!

Alrite alrite

(Things to learn from this conversation:

1. ‘ ‘ use it in every sentence you tell her. It’ll definitely make her feel good. She might end up asking ‘Why do you smile soo much Saif?’ Now it’s up to you to make use of this opportunity and reply something like ‘aaaaah.. no idea Neha.. I smile automatically when I see your name on my phone. I guess even my facial muscles can recognize special people.’
2. ‘ ‘ generally used to wink at someone but if she puts it at the end of a sentence, it’s like telling you ‘dude you know what it means! I’m just covering it up as I don’t want to say it directly to you.’
3. ‘ , ‘ careful usage is recommended. Repeated usage might irritate her.
4. ‘ :-* ‘ wait till she gives you license to do that.)

Saturday.. 8.30 am…

Vodka… check.

Pepsi… check.

Sprite… check.

Glasses… check.

Oorka… check.

“Dad i’m going out with friends. Will get back home in the evening”, managing a lie with a straight face (coz I suck at it!).

“Okay. But take the house key coz we won’t be home when you get back”, replied dad as he and mom had to attend a wedding reception in the evening.

“Yup, I’ll do that”, I said grabbing the keys in one hand, wearing my sneakers with the other and also checking out the time in ma watch in between that.

I’m bringin’ sexy back,Yeah. Them other boys don’t know how to act! Yeah.. (my phone rang..)

“Oye! Where are you?”

“Just started from home Neha. Will be there in a few minutes.”

“Ok Ok. Come fast.”

10.45am…

Neha seemed very happy and was showing all her teeth.”Saifffff”, she screamed, “the theatre looks pretty empty!”, which was followed by a beautiful wink. What it meant? I don’t know Our next mission was to sneak the vodka bottles (and the side dish) into the cinema hall. For a few minutes I thought we were some kind of terrorist group trying to smuggle a bomb past the security guard into the hall. “Finally!!”, we said together, with a sign of relief, as we settled on our seats. Without wasting any more time we started ‘preparing the pitch’. Glasses out, Vodka out, CHEERS!!

After round 1: Nothing much happens after the 1^st round. Things stay the way they are. For eg: your names stay the same (which tends to change after a few rounds). It should take some time for the alcohol to sink in.

After round 4: This is the exact point when you start smiling for anything and everything and for no reason. Smile away to glory! She might start addressing you differently. In my case- ‘Machi, go get some more side dish da’.

After round 8: This is when the alcohol takes over. Like completely! She keeps repeating your name over n over again. Eg: ‘Saif Saif Saif.. listen Saif! Saif, you are the besht’. Sweetheart, darling, baby etc also gets introduced at this juncture.

I slowly touched her soft fingers and held her hands tight, but was not sure if it was right. Things did happen on its own like I’ve consumed Felix Felicis (except that vodka was the luck potion here). I cuddled her and she lay on my shoulders glued to me. I kissed her on her head and could see her blush hot pink. I could feel the excitement spread in my chest like a pleasant cactus and wondered if the god Kamadeva (Indian Cupid ) finally decided to shoot us with his flowery arrows of love But the voices in my head started arguing…

‘Saif! What the hell are you doing? Don’t let the alcohol take over. ‘

‘Dude, screw it. She’s all yours manh. Don’t listen to him!’

‘You better let her go!’

‘If i could i would. But i can’t so i shan’t.’

***

6.00 pm…

It was cold, very cold. I pulled up the bedspread over me. Aaah now that feels good. I guess it was the AC.  Ding dong… Ding dong. Is the bell ringing in my head? Am I that drunk? I tried opening my eyes, but in vain. They were locked as if reluctant to obey my order to open up. Ding dong… Ding dong. The bell rang again, but this time along with it came,“Saif! Open the door!” Ok now this explained two things- 1. I’m at home (although I didn’t know how I got home); 2. The bell sounded real which means I’m definitely not imagining things! I should probably go and open the door.

As I got out of bed my leg hit on something- a pair of LADIES FOOTWEAR!?! There was a third Vodka bottle on the floor as well (so that explains why I don’t remember things). I was trying to recollect whatever happened, that’s when I heard a familiar voice from behind me, ”hey ya Saif darling”. Neha just woke up giving me one of the best smiles she’d given me thus far (concentrate Saif! This is just not the time to resichfy her smile!). What do I do… What do I do? I could hear my mom banging the door now. I swear my heart beat count was increasing every minute. My legs began to feel numb and I sat on the floor with my head down, ‘I’M SCREWED!! BIG TIME!’

$H!t H@Pp€ń$. It does!

(For the records, I don’t remember anything that happened between 12.30 pm and 6 pm ).

SAKSHI

This one’s for you sweetheart…

A smile tells the body that everything is okay and makes you stay positive.

It lifts the moods of those around you causing people to treat you with joy and happiness.

Smiling makes you look younger and attractive.

It minimizes the intensity of any of your problems (plus a heap of other benefits).

I didn’t have a clue that all this was possible until I saw her smile. A smile soo beautiful and innocent, pure and sweet that you’ll forget all your worries seeing it. I get to see her only once in a while and it breaks my heart just to see her smile.

1st b'day

 

 

 

pinky

 

What else can she do?? check it out yourself…

1. Love for computer, camera and headphones:

 

 

lemme also see it!!

 

2. Rhymes: Play her favorite rhyme and she’ll sing along with her ‘aaaaaaaaaaahh aaaaaaahhhhhhhhhss’. That’s probably the best song i’ve ever heard. And the actions, a delight to the eyes!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

3. Crow took it away:

Sis: Sakshi..!!! Amma said Nooo! Don’t take that toy!

Sakshi crawls with maximum speed (trust me, super speed she has got) trying to reach the toy before her mom and hoping to bite it. Sis grabs the toy, hides it and says ‘Crow took it away’. Wanna see sakshis reaction??

crow kondu poyi

4. Love for her maaman: I click pics of her (manh, she’s crazy about her pics! ), show all her favorite videos n rhymes, play with her 24/7 and hence a little extra love for me Her hugs n kisses (‘Ubbahhh’ in her language) cannot be measured, only treasured!

 

‘Yes, I do!’

All characters and incidents in this story are imaginary. Resemblance to any person living or dead is purely coincidental.

‘Yes, I do!’, was my instinctive-reflex kind of reply to her question.

My senses weren’t working one bit, some of my friends were cheering and yelling my name and most important of all, the professor gave me a nasty look. I told myself ‘Dude! Wipe your mouth and get back to the ground!!’

She spoke, ‘And your name will be?’

‘Errrrrr what?!’, I replied trying to get out of her nasha.

‘Your N-A-M-E!’

‘Oh yeah sorry, its Saif Adil Ahmad’.

***

Two years back…

‘Macha, college sucks da. I mean, there’s hardly any good… forget good, at least OK looking chicks out there’. I could sense pain in AJ’s voice as he made the comment for God-knows-how-many-times that week. This had been our topic of discussion in the college bus.

‘Dude, chillax! It’s just been a week into our college life’, I replied checking out a few salwar- kameez, anarkali clad girls (disappointment again!) standing in the college bus stop. ‘Patience is all…..’, but before I could complete the sentence, all my attention got transfixed on this angel amidst a group of Homo sapiens.

‘AJ, check her out!!!’, I was all excited. AJ couldn’t take his eyes off her and just kept staring with his mouth agape. Interruption came in the form of a senior, ‘Guys! Enough! She is my classmate. Which also means your senior!!’.  I thought I saw him giving me an evil grin when he said ‘Senior’.

‘Anna anna annnaaaaa.. Give us info about her.. plzzzzzzzzz!!!’, we cried in unison.

‘Fine fine.. She’s Neha Verma, 2^nd year CSE, mallu..’

I was all excited and could hear my heart scream ‘Aaromale Aarooomalaee’

‘Saif, chuck it. Senior, mallu.. velaikkaavadhu..’, AJ lost hopes.

I was like, ’Listen, Insaan ka karthavya hota hai koshish karna.. kamyaabi, na kamyaabi sab uske haath mein’

A year passed and I didn’t make an attempt to talk to her. She never knew I existed until this happened in the 2^nd year..

‘Machi, who’ll go to Coffee Day and all?! Waste of money I say. We’ll better go to the canteen and have a coffee. Deal? ’

‘DEAL!!’, came the reply.

‘So what’s up with that Neha girl Saif?’, I wasn’t expecting that.

‘Aaaahh nothing manh. Bin ages since I saw her! Orae feeling da’, I answered as we sped through the corridor.

‘Achaa then go talk to her know. Go behind her n tell her how you feel.’

‘She has a nice face, her booty is in place but Saif doesn’t chase machi. Patience is all….’, (crap! Is the sentence jinxed or wat!?) there she was, in Coffee Day waiting to order! My heart skipped a beat seeing her. Took a U-turn and entered the shop.  Our first conversation was about to start.

‘Hi, regular customer huh?’ (What crap am i talking?! Saif concentrate!)

‘Naah.. Not really..’, came a nonchalant reply.

‘I don’t come here very often. Can you help me select a drink?’ (pls don’t say NO.. pls don’t say NO!)

‘Yeah sure.. Try out Eskimo Coffee. It’s kinda good..’

‘Ohhh.. thnkx!’, I was beaming. She took her coffee and left, and I was literally jumping around the entire place. Turned around to find my friends mocking me with ‘Saif doesn’t chase’ and ‘Machi, who’ll go to Coffee Day’. But who cares, I spoke to Neha!!

Present day…

The 3^rd year brought in the Cultural fest wherein we had to help our seniors organize the event. Excitement was at its peak as people got themselves enrolled in different committees.

‘Saif, get into the dance committee! Lotsa chicks!!’

‘Hmmmm.. Let’s see.. ’, we weren’t paying attention to the professor but busy preparing a blueprint to bunk classes.

The lecture was interrupted by an ‘Excuse me ma’am?’

‘Yes?’ (‘Dude! Neha!!’, cried my friend giving a thump on my back.)

‘Ma’am I need a volunteer for the debate event. Anyone interested?’

‘Yes, I do!’, was my instinctive-reflex kind of reply to her question.

***

2 days later…

‘Saif what’s your mobile number?’

2 weeks later…

‘Thanks a million Saif!! Don’t think I could’ve organized this event without you!’

Few more weeks later…

‘Let’s go for a movie!!’

Thus began a friendship that lasts till date. Like I always said ‘Patience is all it takes’

(Story as told by Saif to me)

The Actor!

This blog is not for the faint-hearts as it contains disturbing images that can cause death of, or damage to, part of the heart muscle because of the reduction or stoppage of blood due to continuous laughing. The writer in no way will take responsibility for any of the consequences.

With this little piece of advice, I continue writing ‘The Actor’!

For a change, I thought I’ll let the pics do the talking (and you guys do the laughing) in this this post.

supposed to be king.. turned out to be a clown!

1. The King: Played the role of king Yudhistira in a Hindi play. One of the first plays that I acted in and it happened to be the last Hindi play as I didn’t want to look like a Grade-A moron wearing some joker type costumes!!  They made me look like a clown! Got back home that evening. Dad opened the door.

‘Bipin, why on earth did you lie to us?’, he was fuming with rage.

I was a little taken aback by the fact that he thinks I lie to him, even after the ‘Incident’! (We’ll get back to the ‘Incident’ chapter in a minute).

So I was like, ‘Lie?! What are you talking about acha?’

‘You lied to us that you were acting in a play! Where were you all day??’

Awww manh! My parents didn’t recognize me in the play!!!

 

2. The Doctor:  After the initial success of the play and the personal disappointment (of course, the comical outfits), I vowed never to do a Hindi skit again! I was asked to take up a doctor’s role in an English play. Excitement was at its peak this time around coz all that they can do is make me wear a white coat. But no, something more happened!! Take a look…

 

3. The Professor: Finally a good role (Professor Higgins of ‘Pygmalion’) with decent costumes (just a blazer) and talented co-stars (Ajay and Ashwathi, you guys are the best! )! End result? A super hit comical play and tons of applause! Those were the best days of my life…

on stage! intense acting

Thought that was the end of my ‘acting career’ (:P), especially after getting into a ‘Hell’ (read as Veltech). However, I did get another chance!

4. Omana Pennae: Something I regret till date. This is why…

‘Poor acting always gets you into trouble’- Something that I learned from the ‘Incident’ episode.

As a school kid cricket was my life. We used to play a game or two every single day after school hours. So one fine day I got back home pretty late to find my dad waiting for me.

‘Why are you late Bipin?’, trying to sound as normal as he could.

The actor in me, oozing with confidence (over confidence in this case), said,’Acha! This cycle you bought me naaa.. Paaahh!!! It’s just a pain in the ass!! The tyre got punctured for the umpteenth time! And I’ve got exams tomorrow! What a waste of time!!’

As I entered the house our eyes met. Am 100% sure he used Legilimency (couldn’t close my mind as I didn’t know Occlumency!)

The questions continued, ‘And which puncture shop did you go??’

‘The same shop were you go acha. Manh that guy increased the rates!! ’, I improvised.

‘Ohh really?? Cumon lets go to the shop! NOW!!’. He took the keys and pulled me out of the house. CRAP! Things went out of control and I began to panic he literally played football with me that day (yeah, you can guess who was in the footballs place )

 

P.S: Never lie to your parents. And if you have a sister, forget it!!

CPL -> SPL -> NAL (Never Again a Leader!)

‘Shussshhhh! S-I-L-E-N-C-E!!!’, ‘Hey you, kneel down, now!’, and here comes the best one, ‘Finger on your lips. I’ll write your names on the black board if you talk! ’.

LMAO!!!

Introducing, Bipin Rajan- the Class Pupil Leader!!

Gaaaawd! What was I thinking back then?! Even looks wise I wasn’t a little terrifying to threaten my classmates. Just look at the picture (ok people see the pic once and continue reading. Don’t sit and laugh!).

note the leader badge

Paal vazhiyira face right? n FYI, I was a typical cry baby Thank god it was only till my 7^th grade (school changed after that). Otherwise, I swear middle fingers would’ve been the reply to my shushes n the kneel downs

New school, new friends ergo a normal life (i.e. minus leadership). Enter std 12, enter bad news from a staff- ‘Bipin, you are the School Pupil Leader!’ (Glasses crashing sound on the background). With great power comes great responsibility! (Spiderman range’ku buildup kudukuraen la? ).

I do remember an incident where I showed my SPL powers. And what happened? A few guys from the other class rip open my friends lips who eventually had to stitch it The story goes like this-

                There was some fight going on between my classmate (let’s call him SR) and the other class guys (bad guys of the story). So these bad guys came to beat SR up during the lunch break! Suddenly, all eyes where on me (nothing new though )

(Telepathic conversation between me and my friend)

‘What?’, I asked my friend who was eying me.

‘Dude, bad guys!!!’, he replied trying to impart something into my mind.

Crap! I’m the prefect, I should intervene! And so I left the room and walked toward the bad guys (of course in slow-Mo with 2 guys on my left and two on my right). Making eye contact with the head of the bad guys I said, ‘look, I don’t know what your problem really is. But if you even think of touching him now, I’ll personally make sure you get your suspension letter tomorrow!’ (aepudi??)  I think I should’ve stopped with that, but no! I continued, ‘take your fights outside the school!’. And hence the stitched lips as mentioned earlier

One year later,

‘Who wants to be the class representative??’

Amma thaayae, naan illae indha vilayatuku!!

POINTS TO PONDER:

1. Naan rombha nallavan.
2. I do have plans to enter politics and if I succeed, this post will be removed from my blog (let people not read about my leadership skills ).
3. The story is true but the dialogues are a ‘little’ exaggerated.

SnOwLeOpArD

‘SnOwLeOpArD’, that was the name I’d chosen for my blog. But no, I don’t get to keep that title coz am a little late to join wordpress!

Some fake snowleopard already exists!! (Just not the start I wanted. Screw ya WordPress!).

So without wasting another minute, I started searching for another name. Okay, how about ‘The awesome snowleopard’??  Why ‘awesome’? Thanks to the over dose of “How I met your mother” series An ardent fan of ‘the guy who has an extra awesome gland in the place of a shame gland’ (read as Barney Stinson). But then, another problem popped up. I can only use the name as ‘theawesomesnowleopard’’ (too big + only lower case allowed + no use of blank spaces or special characters! Baaahh!).

Rombha kovama I closed it and thought to continue my quest for a catchy name some other time. Something unbelievable happened at that very moment. All of a sudden the great poet Kabir appeared before me!

I broke the silence, ‘Hey man! What up??’

Kabir was like, ‘Dude! Have you gone nuts? Kal kare so aaj kar, aaj kare so ab!! Don’t you remember?’, gesturing to something that he was holding (poor guy brought a copy of the 7^th grade Hindi book to remind me that I’ve studied the doha )

‘Evlovo pannitaen, won’t I do this for you kabir?’, was my immediate reply.

Kabir disapparited. I switched on my comp, closed my eyes, searched for inner peace and finally settled (of course, only after cursing wordpress) with,

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Drumroll please….!!

“BipinRajan!!!”

P.S: Please concentrate on the guy not the building